My Grocery Shopping Confessional

I don’t actually document my errands. But this was a particularly “fun” and “interesting” experience that I thought warranted sharing. Because way back when I did a site survey and lots of you wanted a “peak into my life as a mom.”

grocery shopping confessional

My Grocery Store Confessional

The grocery store trip that was doomed from the beginning. Times are estimates.

Monday, July 25, 2011

4:30 pm > Enter grocery store. With both kids. SIGH audibly.

  • I do it despite my knowledge that it’s the worst possible time to go grocery shopping.
  • Wander aimlessly.

4:45 pm > Realize I don’t have my list. Decide to attempt the trip anyway.

  • Proceed to put produce in basket. Get dirty looks from people because I have my kids with me.
  • He towards dairy section.
  • Witness Logan pushing the basket around in circles in the middle of the aisle as I grab the milk.
  • Make the mistake of walking past the ice cream.
  • Go back to the produce because I forgot half of what I needed.

4:55 pm > Go down random, unnecessary aisles to avoid the masses.

5:00 pm > Remember I have an iphone and that I can look up a couple of recipes for ingredients.

  • Attempt to park the kids out of the way so I can double check what I need.
  • Double back for kalamata olives so I can make Mediterranean Pasta, or something like it, for dinner.
  • Realize I’m out of parmesan and have forgotten it the last 4 times I’ve been shopping.

5:03 > Get more dirty looks because I’m saying “no” to all the kids requests and most likely am wearing my favorite expression – the “perma-scowl.”

5:05 pm > Remember that I’m out of sour cream. Head back to dairy.

  • Give in to Madeline’s requests for popcorn.
  • Declare that we’re DONE and no one better complain, nag, whine, or hit…otherwise it’s a TIMEOUT when we get home.

5:08 pm > Make a bee-line for the shortest check out line. Actually pick up my pace so I can get there before another person eye-balling the short line.

  • Get another dirty look.
  • Tell Logan to stop touching the magazines and that we’re NOT getting any candy.
  • Decide that I want a Skor bar. Hide it under the food so the kids don’t see.
  • Get ready to pay and then realize I DON’T HAVE MY WALLET.

5:10 > Vent on Twitter. Go home. Get Wallet. Do.Not.Pass.Go.Ever.

grocery shopping nightmares

5:20 > Get back in line. Thank the nice person who didn’t put the food away. Pay.

  • Answer phone. It’s Jamie. Tell her what happened. She laughs.
  • Mentally stick my tongue out at her. Decide that’s not very mature.
  • I agree that I might laugh too…in a few days.

5:25 > Load Car. Leave Store.

  • Get honked at.
  • Miss my turn.
  • Take a detour.

5:35 > Make it home just before Eric. Decide it’s leftover night.

  • Eat leftover soup even though it’s nearly 100 degrees out.

I’m sure we’ve all been there and I realize that probably 98% of the population despises grocery shopping just as much as I do. So, give me your worst. Leave me your grocery shopping confessional. Dish out the dirt.