I don’t actually document my errands. But this was a particularly “fun” and “interesting” experience that I thought warranted sharing. Because way back when I did a site survey and lots of you wanted a “peak into my life as a mom.”
My Grocery Store Confessional
The grocery store trip that was doomed from the beginning. Times are estimates.
Monday, July 25, 2011
4:30 pm > Enter grocery store. With both kids. SIGH audibly.
- I do it despite my knowledge that it’s the worst possible time to go grocery shopping.
- Wander aimlessly.
4:45 pm > Realize I don’t have my list. Decide to attempt the trip anyway.
- Proceed to put produce in basket. Get dirty looks from people because I have my kids with me.
- He towards dairy section.
- Witness Logan pushing the basket around in circles in the middle of the aisle as I grab the milk.
- Make the mistake of walking past the ice cream.
- Go back to the produce because I forgot half of what I needed.
4:55 pm > Go down random, unnecessary aisles to avoid the masses.
5:00 pm > Remember I have an iphone and that I can look up a couple of recipes for ingredients.
- Attempt to park the kids out of the way so I can double check what I need.
- Double back for kalamata olives so I can make Mediterranean Pasta, or something like it, for dinner.
- Realize I’m out of parmesan and have forgotten it the last 4 times I’ve been shopping.
5:03 > Get more dirty looks because I’m saying “no” to all the kids requests and most likely am wearing my favorite expression – the “perma-scowl.”
5:05 pm > Remember that I’m out of sour cream. Head back to dairy.
- Give in to Madeline’s requests for popcorn.
- Declare that we’re DONE and no one better complain, nag, whine, or hit…otherwise it’s a TIMEOUT when we get home.
5:08 pm > Make a bee-line for the shortest check out line. Actually pick up my pace so I can get there before another person eye-balling the short line.
- Get another dirty look.
- Tell Logan to stop touching the magazines and that we’re NOT getting any candy.
- Decide that I want a Skor bar. Hide it under the food so the kids don’t see.
- Get ready to pay and then realize I DON’T HAVE MY WALLET.
5:10 > Vent on Twitter. Go home. Get Wallet. Do.Not.Pass.Go.Ever.
5:20 > Get back in line. Thank the nice person who didn’t put the food away. Pay.
- Answer phone. It’s Jamie. Tell her what happened. She laughs.
- Mentally stick my tongue out at her. Decide that’s not very mature.
- I agree that I might laugh too…in a few days.
5:25 > Load Car. Leave Store.
- Get honked at.
- Miss my turn.
- Take a detour.
5:35 > Make it home just before Eric. Decide it’s leftover night.
- Eat leftover soup even though it’s nearly 100 degrees out.
I’m sure we’ve all been there and I realize that probably 98% of the population despises grocery shopping just as much as I do. So, give me your worst. Leave me your grocery shopping confessional. Dish out the dirt.