My Grocery Shopping Confessional
My Grocery Store Confessional
The grocery store trip that was doomed from the beginning. Times are estimates.
Monday, July 25, 2011
4:30 pm > Enter grocery store. With both kids. SIGH audibly.
- I do it despite my knowledge that it’s the worst possible time to go grocery shopping.
- Wander aimlessly.
4:45 pm > Realize I don’t have my list. Decide to attempt the trip anyway.
- Proceed to put produce in basket. Get dirty looks from people because I have my kids with me.
- He towards dairy section.
- Witness Logan pushing the basket around in circles in the middle of the aisle as I grab the milk.
- Make the mistake of walking past the ice cream.
- Go back to the produce because I forgot half of what I needed.
4:55 pm > Go down random, unnecessary aisles to avoid the masses.
5:00 pm > Remember I have an iphone and that I can look up a couple of recipes for ingredients.
- Attempt to park the kids out of the way so I can double check what I need.
- Double back for kalamata olives so I can make Mediterranean Pasta, or something like it, for dinner.
- Realize I’m out of parmesan and have forgotten it the last 4 times I’ve been shopping.
5:03 > Get more dirty looks because I’m saying “no” to all the kids requests and most likely am wearing my favorite expression – the “perma-scowl.”
5:05 pm > Remember that I’m out of sour cream. Head back to dairy.
- Give in to Madeline’s requests for popcorn.
- Declare that we’re DONE and no one better complain, nag, whine, or hit…otherwise it’s a TIMEOUT when we get home.
5:08 pm > Make a bee-line for the shortest check out line. Actually pick up my pace so I can get there before another person eye-balling the short line.
- Get another dirty look.
- Tell Logan to stop touching the magazines and that we’re NOT getting any candy.
- Decide that I want a Skor bar. Hide it under the food so the kids don’t see.
- Get ready to pay and then realize I DON’T HAVE MY WALLET.
5:10 > Vent on Twitter. Go home. Get Wallet. Do.Not.Pass.Go.Ever.
5:20 > Get back in line. Thank the nice person who didn’t put the food away. Pay.
- Answer phone. It’s Jamie. Tell her what happened. She laughs.
- Mentally stick my tongue out at her. Decide that’s not very mature.
- I agree that I might laugh too…in a few days.
5:25 > Load Car. Leave Store.
- Get honked at.
- Miss my turn.
- Take a detour.
5:35 > Make it home just before Eric. Decide it’s leftover night.
- Eat leftover soup even though it’s nearly 100 degrees out.
I’m sure we’ve all been there and I realize that probably 98% of the population despises grocery shopping just as much as I do. So, give me your worst. Leave me your grocery shopping confessional. Dish out the dirt.
Alix says
This sounded to familiar. When our local supermarket was damaged during the January floods this summer we now have to go to another suburb to shop. The aisles are narrow and it is a bit snobby as well. So when I take the four kids under seven to shop I get many stares (how many children does that women have?) and a constant “Can you please move your family out of the way.” I now shop online and it is delivered to my door and unpacked for the tiny sum of $10 extra on my normal groceries price. A happy stress free mum = Happy family.
Emily says
Ok, here it is: I love grocery shopping. Love, love, love it! I’ve often told my husband I should start a personal grocery shopping business. My son is only 14 months old now and very easy to take along; he is perhaps the most easy going baby ever, so he’s pretty fun to have tag along. Although when baby #2 comes in a few months, I may be singing a different tune…
But I do remember one trip when my boy was just a couple months old. He started screaming, so I was trying to hold him and push the cart one-handed. Then got to the check-out, only to realize I didn’t have my wallet. Fortunately my mom saved the day that time!
Frostine says
Your shopping trip sounds WAY to familiar. I love it when I can go shopping without the kids.
Radiomomrhetoric says
LOL–you poor thing! It reminds me of shortly after I gave birth to my 4th (and last) little one. I took ALL of them to the grocery store with me. I thought I held it together pretty well! they got a little squirrely at the end, while we were checking out. I had the kids loaded into the van and buckled in……and I realized that I hadn’t BAGGED ANY OF MY GROCERIES. I LEFT them on the conveyor belt INSIDE the store!!! I just hauled my kids out to the van after paying! OMG. EMBARASSING.
Jessi @ Quirky Cookery says
Awww! Well at least you got the olives eventually, right? 😛
Anna Palmer says
Grocery store. Site of so many broken fantasies. The kids and I baking from scratch. Great teachable moments about the virtues of proteins. Impromptu math lessons about budgets and change (with my 4 year old?). Our lovingly collected totes clean and nested together waiting to receive our fresh bounty. The reality. Three carts (kids each driving one INTO each other) and inevitably my achilles tendons. Bickering over cereal type. (Clifford crunch has LESS sugar than “squares?) Forgotten lists, wallets, bags. Or outdated lists thank you ketchup x3, white vinegar x2, and peanut butter x4. My individual worst though was when we loaded our THANKSGIVING cart including ordered ahead organic blah blah happy turkey and got to checkout only to have the whole store be closed down. They were working on the HVAC system and some smoke began coming in through the vents. So they shut down the store. And we were evacuated. We loitered outside for a while (Vermont, only one kid had a coat) then finally went home after 20 minutes. Total failure.
The silver lining was that turkey. Since it had been special ordered they saved the WHOLE cart in the walk in fridge and we came back after a car nap to pick it up and not have to walk the aisles a second time. So that was sort of the best and the worst.
In fact I feel so strongly about shopping with the kids that it is the inspiration for my “teamwork” marble jar that comes preloaded in my Marble Jar iPhone app. We can add marbles for -keeping to our list (avoiding those extra snack packs) – safe hands a bodies (no need to explain that) Greeting shoppers (working on being friendly) Sticking together (wandering can be both annoying and dangerous.
Let me know if you are interested in checking out the app. It is good for Routines, privileges, and practicing things like environmentalism, and social skills. I would be honored to send you a download code.
Sandy @ RE says
I saw those tweets, too. LOL I’m just glad because my kids are older now. I remember the tenseness I felt while in the store. It was NEVER relaxing! A job. HA! Thanks for sharing, Katie!
Jen @ My Kitchen Addiction says
LOL! This definitely made me laugh, and I needed that!
My grocery store has those self-scanner things so that you can scan your groceries and bag them as you shop. When I was going grocery shopping before our camping trip a few weeks ago (read: big list), I got halfway done and my scanner died. So, I went to customer service, and they transferred my order so that I could get a new scanner. But, the new scanner got stuck in the scanner dispenser and then somehow disabled my account. So, I had to re-scan and rebag everything before I could continue shopping. I finally managed to finish shopping, and then, wouldn’t you know, I was randomly selected for an audit when I checked out. So, they took all of my groceries out of the bag and scanned them yet again!
Katie says
OH MY GOSH, Jen! The kids always ask me to do self check out because they think it’s cool, but I’ve learned my lesson. One of them always ends up messing up something – leaning on it, moving items out of the way, etc. to set the thing off and then I need an attendant to come fix it. It takes forever. I only go to self check out if I’m alone and have a couple things. I’m kind of annoyed by the whole self check out too because the place I shop at often has 1 lane open and then 4 self check. They’ll ask if I’d rather self check than wait in line. Are they crazy? Not when I have a cart full of stuff and 2 kids. No thanks, but they can do it for me. It’s not like my grocery bill is less because I did some of the work myself. Not my most favorite “modern convenience.”
Chriseda says
I have forgotten my wallet on more than one occasion but my worst trip came at the end after I had paid:
I always appreciate a grocery store employing teens and mentally handy-capable people. The people that bag my groceries – teens mostly and also those that are mentally challenged (though I am not sure that they are as challenged as the rest of us “normal” people). I used to think I was entertaining myself and the bagger/clerk when they would wheel out my groceries to load them into vehicle. I would pop the trunk, lift it just a little and with an alarmed expression on my face I would look at the poor unsuspecting clerk as I shut the truck and proclaim “Oh no! I forgot about the dead bodies in the trunk”! I would get many different responses from a laugh or a rolling of the eyes to an alarmed look and maybe confusion. Then the last time…a mentally challenged (I didn’t realize that he was challenged until after he spoke) looked at me after my stunt and said, “You must be really bored”. I felt miserable and childish and ashamed. What else was there? He cut me to quick. Lesson learned. I still get bored grocery shopping but I just smile my through it.